OH MY Goodnes!!

My grandsons, Cole , age 6 & Caleb, age 4 are here.

When they got here , Cole asked me to come upstairs

to my room with him. He said he had a present for

me and just wanted to be alone with me....so

up the stairs we go. Cole puts his hand in his coat

pocket and pulls it out..... with a button, that you

can wear on your shirt or coat.

It said

"Cancer Sucks"

I looked into his sweet face and just started to cry..he said.."it

does suck gramma cuz it's in there eating away at your nutrition & your muscles."

What a sweet boy he is..his mom didn't even know he had it.

After dinner, the boys played doctor..and I heard them say.."no

I don't see any breast cancer"

OH I just laughed..how funny. We havetalked openly with them & Cole is anxiously awaiting 12/12when "my gramma won't have cancer anymore"

My hearts swells with so much love

Deena

Thursday Thanks & Giving

Here's a peek at my bedroom..My little fat kitty Mya

is laying on the bed, waiting for nap time, but I'm running

around taking pictures to share..

Amber has been doing a Thanks & Giving on Thursdays..so here

are the five things I'm thankful for today

1. My bed room with rose & blues

2. ALL the great comments on my blog

3. My friend, Church, who is awesome.

4. Digital cameras

5. Tylenol PM

Seems like a crazy list, but I have some many things

to be thankful for, I need to do this EVERY Thursday 4 ever.

Here's my giving..my roses at our old house..STOP & SMELL THE ROSES, today

 you may not be able too tomorrow

Check my Nature Blog for more Thanksgiving

Today was good.  I called and reserved the apartment at

Indepence Village for Rich's dad. He'll be staying there, starting the

weekend before my surgery.  

 I talked to friend about how prayers

are always answered. Sometimes healing is done here, sometimes

we go to God to be healed.  Heaven will be glorious. NOT that I'm

going there now, but I can see that God heals that way also.

Tomorrow,  friend Marcia, my daughter Nicole and I are going to store that caters to ladies 

with breast cancer..to get the camis with pockets.  Then for a bite

of lunch.  I need to get some gowns to wear also, but not sure when I'll do that. 

Rich is going to buy a lil fridge for our bedroom, so I can have some ice, juices, and lil snacks 

in my room , so I can be a bit independent.  He will be staying home

with me, but we haven't said how long, just we'll see how it goes.

I'll be giving some folks Rich's cell # for the evening of the 12th.  He'll be staying with me

but I know some folks will want to know how things went. My daughter Nicole will stay

here at our home that evening to take care of the pets, our kitty Mya and dog Hannah.

The grandsons will probably be coming tomorrow.  It'll be pizza night for us!!

I need to go work on the updates for my site...so..I want to thank you all for your

prayers, encouragement and for making me smile each day.

fondly, I am kinda pretty in pink, Deena

Stocking Update :-)

I stitched on my stocking ALL DAY yesterday and for the better part of the day today. I think I've gotten a lot done, I'm almost done with my angel *yeah*
Here's a picture of my stocking so far.
You can see my last progress picture here.

Before I forget! Today in the mail I received the 2nd part of my Xmas exchange from Kathie of CSF :-) Here's what she sent.I already have the big ornament hanging on my bulletin board and the little ones will go on my little tree once I find the *umph* I need to get it out. I'm going to get ready to go back to work tomorrow *tear* LOL Actually I'm getting bored at home so going back may be good for me. TTFN

A bit of this ..a bit of that

My BFF Marcia, her husband,  Rhea sent this to me, 

it's was labeled 

GOD SMILES!!!

I love nature..God is there, if you look, you KNOW 

He IS..

I'm getting ready to make breakfast for supper. I love breakfast food sometimes

in the evenings.  The boys..Rich and his dad, are having chilli and egg buritos.

I am having some oatmeal with cranberries..and toast.

My breast is hurting all the time the last few days..and the lump feels

bigger.  I can see swelling under my arms where the nodes are. It

is scaring me. I'm going to call Dr Denise, but I am sure

there is nothing to do or worry more about.  In two weeks, at 

this time of day.. 5PM..I should be all down with surgery.

I told Rich NOT to leave me that day, cuz when I wake up, he

will be the one to tell me how many nodes had to go.   He's 

going to stay the night with me that night at the hospital too.

In the days ahead, I plan to stay BUSY and reduce stress as much

as I can.  

Rich has plans to move his dad ..just him and his personals...on the

weekend before my surgery.  The place he is going will keep him

on a month to month lease for 4 months.  This is a huge burden

lifted , it will help us to concentrate on only me.  His dad isn't

ill, just not able to do some things that make it impossible

for him to live alone.

I cried tonight cuz I am scared , and Rich says he is too. Of course

he is handling MY cancer, better than I could handle him with cancer.

This is the first time, I got this dread feeling that I may not

make it ..I'll pray for this feeling to pass.  I don't need any MORE stress.

Good news today from my BFF Marcia..all the tests are back from her

surgery and ALL clear..Praise GOD!!  I need her to love me for 

lots of centuries.  

 I need some EXTRA prayers please.

fondly, Deena

I, ME, DEENA, is having a give away..YIPPEE (new hairdo also)

I want to do some FUN things. SO,

I've decorated my Nature BLOG today,

I found out I  won some GREAT books from

Jan @ the Bold & Free...

I'll need some, a few

days in bed, and I love to READ.

and now  TA DA!!!!

I want to have 

a GIVE AWAY too.

On Saturday eve I'll post the winner of a set of

6 of these little reindeer ornaments. I WUV mine.

Here's my sweet white feather tree decorated with

only my lil deers..

Just comment on THIS post..and you will be stuffed in

Frosty's hat for the drawing. 

Tell your friends too!! 

Many Christmas smiles. Deena

PS ~~I slept so good last night!! I am rested & happy today.

My oldest daughter is going to Cosmetology School..she does the BEST cuts

on me..Here's todays !!! love it

Tried to show the sides..and my cute Power of Pink earrings..

My Fasting is Over

I'm back in "our" bedroom & my praying and fasting are over.

Hubby and I talked openly last night..and he has 

agreed it would be best for his dad to have other care

while I heal . He has sought out some places and 

talked with his dad about it.  We all agree.  Of course

now his dad wants to move to a villa in Florida, but

he is NOT able to live alone.

I am so relieved , I feel it will be best for ALL of us

and it is just for a bit.  

My heart has been hurting ..I do love my hubby

and I told him last night, I dont' want our

marriage ruined..cuz when we are good it is 

wonderful..

He said he feels like he's failed when his wife is

so unhappy.. 

I am anxious, scared and I try to focus on EVERYTHING

but the cancer and the upcoming journey. The house is

decorated except the tree and the ribbons on the street lamps.

I addressed Christmas cards today, worked on updating

The Primitive Gathering, read and re-read my post op instructions,

made a list of things I need to get before the surgery..and now

I have to start on Christmas shopping, from my PC I hope!!!

Nicole, my oldest daughter is coming tomorrow, Tuesday, to cut my

hair, and we may go out to get some camisoles made for

women who have had breast surgery...with pockets to

carry my drains around in.. teehee..anything to make it fun.

On Thanksgiving, only my youngest daughter came over..and

we girls sat in the dining room to eat..Rich and his dad sat in the

kitchen to eat.. I made lots of food, turkey, gravy, rolls, sweet potato casserole,

deviled eggs, stuffing, pumpkin pie..I had more to make

but when I found out my two oldest wouldn't be coming, I decided we

had plenty to eat. I had hoped for a full house, but I know my kids

can only go so many places and the boys get tired too.

It was good to have Mercedes home, I miss her so much, but she's

grown and doing QUITE well on her own.

I hardly slept last night, I don't know why..but I did take a nap today..and I

plan to go to bed early tonight..I'm reading a sweet book by

Debbie Mac Comber called "Christmas Wishes"

I love her light love stories at Christmas 

thank you all for your prayers, friendship, encouragement and love

it means so much..Deena

An Exchange, A Finish, A RAK, and Some WIPs

I'm so bad to not have posted this sooner but life gets in the way sometimes. This is from Becky. She stitched me this for the Fair and Square Exchange. It's a "spooky" web and I love how she stitched her initial sqaure.
I finished this the night of Thanksgiving Day. I wanted to get it done sooner but I worked Wednesday night and when I got home I was so tired that I didn't get a chance to stitch until late Thanksgiving night. It's Shepherd's Bush Thankful Sheep. It's such a cutie! It's at my not so LNS now getting finished as a little hanging pillow. I really can't wait to see how it looks like finished.

Next up are two WIPs pictures. The top one is Shepherd's Bush Jillian's Stocking. For the past few weeks I've been looking for a stocking to buy for my God Daughter Isabel (she's my cousin's daughter) and I haven't been able to find one nice enough for her. On Friday I was at my not so LNS and was browsing through the charts an *poof* the idea dawned on me that I could make her one. Of course it's not going to be done by Christmas for her but for next year it will definitely be ready for her. I'm hoping to get all the stitching done by Christmas so I can atleast show it to her, well really her parents because she'll be 9 months by then and could probably care less about it LOL. I wish I could post a picture of her because she's so freaking cute but I just don't feel comfortable doing so. On Thanksgiving she had turkey for the first time and she kept going mmmm mmmm mmmmm mmmmm hehe. Too cute!

I started Bent Creek's Autumn Snapperland before my stocking. I love the fabric I'm stitching it on and unfortunately I don't know the name of it :-( I bought it at CATS from a small booth that had it stitched up on this. It was a tiny booth and barely had enough space in it for the workers. If anyone knows which booth I'm talking about I'd love to know so that I can perhaps find the name of the fabric.
Finally, I don't have a picture to share but I've been RAK'd. I don't know who sent it to me but I received a nice little card and a skein of GASTs Mistletoe. It was so nice and brought a smile to my face. I don't know who sent it to me since there was no return address but if the person reads my blog I'd like to say THANKS!!!! I kept showing Kelly who finally walked away from me when it got too much for him LOL.

Oh one more thing! Thanks for the comments on my little bee, I forgot to write about his little wings, they have blending filament in them so they sparkle. He's at the finisher's as well and I'm impatiently waiting for his return so I can use my scissors. Off to stitch on my stocking! TTFN

***Edited to answer Barbara's comment*** It did come with a Belgiam postmark!!!

Just Me

Saying Good Morning to all my friends.

I had a HARD time sleeping last night, so

I bet I'll be napping today!

We have some SNOW

Yes, that is snow flying through the air.

check my Nature Blog

for some more  pictures..I actually arose from

my bed to snap pictures.

I'll be posting my house on the " Christmas Tour of Homes" too

before my surgery..if I can post ahead and have it

publish on 12/17..

Please check my Art Blog for the details.

Thank you all for your kind words of support. I am determined to

get the RIGHT thing done here, I may ask my children

for intervention as a group in the next week..Something has

got to give..and does it have to be me???

My husband said today.  "I am afraid you are not up for this fight"

meaning the cancer, he sees me sinking..WELL!!

HELLO!!!! Do SOMETHING then..don't let me die.

humbly, 

deena

From my friends

Mary of Mary's Writing Nook & other fun Blogs, sent this my way yesterday.

I also received a lovely card  in the postal mail from Sharon of Rose of Sharon...and

a sweet AEC from Mollye Self's?? daughter?? Melissa..along with the

Bulletin from her church in Shreveport , Louisiana

requesting prayers and my name is on it!!

Thank you to all of you. Keep praying, time is flying by.

fondly, Deena

Bad Days

Things here are not good. My husband doesn't talk to me. 

I'm sleeping alone.

Praying for 2.5 years has revealed no answer, surely I must have

cut myself off from God.

When life is bad, I try to hide . ..lest I alienate friends, what few true 

friends I have.  I am feeling sorry for ME and that doesn't do any good.

My husband has not put me first...nor will he ever. Someone told me

he isn't showing love and support, they must have been correct. I 

only matter if I can be happy here with his dad here, he told

me once , be happy or get out.  I suppose I should hit the road.

I need to be alone & stay alone.

I know I am not the only one with hurts..or has an illness. I am going to pray

that I stop being self centered and find a way to live alone.

Things I Want For Christmas

Yay, I got a GOOD new job! A permanent one which means we will be able to buy a new home soon and get out of this shoe box we are in.
I have been working a lot but have been doing some Christmas craft in the evenings while watching "Bargain Hunt" (love that show.)
Photos very soon!
Anyway, below are some of the things I want for Christmas.


Isn't this French inspired bed divine? Looks like something Marie Antoinette would have in her Petit Triannon. I am reading a biography on her at the moment, such an interesting woman.


Cath Kidston wallpaper. I could do so much with this. Feature wall, backing or lining for shelves, cover boxes and books....must have!


Pink LCD TV and DVD player for the boudoir.


Glam giant rubber duckie with feather boa. Aussie readers, David Jones have these.



Hand woven Aubusson rug in a super large size. The perfect anchor for the shabby chic living room.


Who can ever have enough diamonds?


Royal Winton wall vases to add to my collection.





French inspired desk and office chair. Love that chair!


And the gift that keeps on giving....Ryan Reynolds!

Surprises in the Mail

My sweet friend, Linda of Remember When Farm

made this wonderful box & filled it with treats

Hot chocolate pouches & a CD , glitzy pin, chocolates, 

a bookmark, lovely tissues!

She even sent me some PINK slippers..they'll be going

to the hospital with me.  She's such a dear..and I love her

stitching and her boxes!!

This journal is from Betsy of Foothill Primitives

with a turkey feather from Lana. 

I love the fabric and the feather..with a lil

candle light .

Thank you for making my day Linda and Betsy!!

fondly, Deena

May Your Thanksgiving Be Blessed

We'll be sharing Thanksgiving with our children & grands tomorrow

Quite a full house.

 Our home looks like Christmas inside & we may

get some snow tonight!!  

I hope each of you have a happy day

with giving thanks for all the gifts God has given us.

I am so blessed with a husband, 3 children, 6 grandsons , the Lord

who gave His son for us & a nestle in the Singing Woods.

Fondly, Deena

Praise God, MY BFF has NO cancer!!!

Oh I am so happy!! She's out and doing good..and no

cancer..so just the left side of her thyroid gland is gone.

She has to stay the night , then comes home tomorrow afternoon.

I am so happy!!! I knew it would be okay, I just KNEW it.

Her husband, son, brother, a cousin and I were all there.

I think she had TOO big of a peanut gallery.. I left early ...

because..

my poor dear dog Hannah pushed out of the fence today, she was

gone for about 7 hours..someone further up Singing Woods, called ..left

a message..& I went to rescue her.  She was shaking , she was so scared..and 

can hardly walk, but she's home..I guess she'll be in to see the vet next.

What a draining day..The hospital is the one I'll have surgery in..and it

was SO busy..and UGH I'm not looking forward to it..

but..that's another day.. back to decorating a bit this evening.

thanks for all the prayers..

and thanks to Sally who hung a loaf of fresh baked bread

on the front door..how sweet!!

I got a surprise in the mail, pictures tomorrow..

Deena

I'm smiling again!!!

My dear new, sweet friend Mary of Treasures to Me , gave me this award today

Now it's official, I AM fabulous.

Thanks to Mary and all my new and old friends for all the prayers and encouragement,

it means more than you can ever know..

Tomorrow my BFF Marcia, has surgery for possible thyroid cancer.  I'll be there at admitting 

so I can see her  before she goes in, and then I'll be waiting..and journaling..till the docs come

out to tell us it's ALL CLEAR and NO cancer

Deena

I Feel Like Hiding

Just climbing in to bed & staying there.  INSTEAD , I am decorating for Christmas.

I love getting in to ALL the boxes & finding treasures I forgot I had.

It's like Christmas day !! Lots of presents I'm giving our Home again this year.

fondly, Deena

Pretty Little Bee!

The Cricket Collection

Soft Boiled "Tiny Bee"

Stitched on 20ct Daffodil Lugana

With all recommended threads

over 1 thread

Awesome Poster

This poster was made by a few members of 

the Yahoo group .. Paper Whimsy.

I LOVE it & Gale Blair of Paper Whimsy 

gave me permission to use it.

WooHoo, I found it for sale on the Paper Whimsy Website ..and bought TWO copies.

Thank you Gail & the rest of your group!!..Tis so kind of you!!

fondly, deena

Struggling Today

It has not been a good day.  I am struggling with the fact that my

father in law lives with us, because he can't take care of himself.

So,  I'm thinking, who will be taking care of him, when I can't take

 care of myself?? I want my hubby all to myself for the next few months..I want to 

be able to feel comfortable in my home, to reduce the resentment I 

feel.  

My own father is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's in Florida. I have step mom too, I have

not told them about my diagnosis, because what can they do?? Stress out,  never have

good days..they can't come visit..dad has no phone in his room, and my step mom, well 

she's not a mom.  I never had a mom.  

My daughter was here today..cuz I called her flipping out and 

crying hard. She came right over.  I felt so bad, upsetting her..by

the time she got here ..I had it together..and just felt naseaous ..but I

didn't tell her.  

I've been a mom with kids at home for 35 years...I get my last sweet daughter

raised..and she's moved out..and now I have a FIL and cancer, and I'm not

sure which is worse.   Thank God for my loving husband. 

 Some days 

are not so good, most days are great.  I know winter is upon us, I'm a hermit

then..so I know this is the best time to be ill, but it's also overcast lately

and I want the sun to shine on my face.

I can't open the windows and hear my bird friends in the winter. That makes

life so amazing..to hear owls, crickets, frogs and coyotes at night, and wake

to the songs of birds in the morning.

I went to my new doctor yesterday, mine retired from practice.  I 

met a sweet nurse there who just had the SAME surgeries as I 

am going to have.  She was so sweet and kind..She showed me 

her "no hair" but she had a great lil wig on.  She showed me the top

of her breast line and it looked wonderful.  It is good to 

know others have done this, survived it..and are willing to help and share.

I wish my husband was home..and he would just cuddle me and tell

me it will all be fine, he'll be here ..and the days ahead we'll be facing 

together will make us strong  and strengthen our marriage and our faith.

He'll be home..the grandsons are coming too.  They'll give gramma hugs

and snuggles too.

Perhaps this weekend we can find some time to spend together..I want to

get all we need for Thanksgiving.  

Rich and I talked frankly today before he left for work  about the days to come. 

 He finally realizes how

hard this will be , BUT together we can get through it.  I don't know how

a single woman can get through this ..my dear family helps so much.  Just

knowing they love me and are there is my source of strength..

I wish I could have accepted the invitation to travel

to a small primitive antique shop at a nearby town with

my friend, Sally, but alas my head and tummy hurt too much..

I have HOPE and FAITH tomorrow ..or even this evening will be better.

fondly. Deena

 

Victoria's Quaker

Now you see it...

And now you don't!

I had to frog this morning, I didn't mind it as much. Stitching on Victoria's Quaker is really fun so restitching that part should be easy peasy! After frogging I did put it away and pulled out all of my craft stuff and made some ornaments for an exchange I'm in. Instead of waiting for the recipient to receive them to post pictures I'm going to post them now because I can't wait. I think they came out nice, better than I thought they would anyway.
This is Just Nan's Snow Faces. It's a cute design but a PIA to stitch. It has so many scattered stitches that I was constantly rethreading my needle. I backed it with the fabric that it's laying on.
This one is Glory Bee's Snow from the 2004 Just Cross Stitch Ornament magazine. I stitched it on Red 32ct linen over 1 thread. It's sort of crooked :( but still nice, in my opinion. I backed it with the fabric it's laying on as well. The bottom picture is just a close up of it.
While I had everything out I decided to try and finish my Full of Hope Pinkeep. I had all intentions on making it a pinkeep but once I sewed the back and front together, I noticed that the ribbon that came with the kit was too wide for the border. While I was thinking about what to do I found myself staring at my hanging heart and decided to make this into a hanging sign. The ribbon is my own and the reason it's so long is because I'm not done with it yet. I'm thinking about adding some cording around it (my sewing job sucks!) and maybe add the pins that came with the kit. I hope it comes out nice.

Lastly, Christmas is on the bottom of my favorite holiday list but there is one thing that I absolutely love about Christmas...

CANDY CANES!!! I love love love this brand and flavor so I was so happy to see that Target had them out already. I bought 3 boxes which should last me about a week LOL. TTFN I didn't take my nap today so I'm going to hit the sack early!

I learned some things, An Awesome Documentary

Last night, on Dish Network, documentary channel, was 

great documentary called "Breast Cancer Diaries" 

The picture above is Ann with her youngest.. her son

was about 4 and such a sweet young man.

It was about Ann Murray Paige & her journey with

breast cancer. She was 38 when diagnosed and she two little babes.

She found her lump with a self exam. I found her journey

to be frightening, enlightening and very educating for me.

I am so glad I have grown children.  It was so hard on

her babes to go without their mom for so long.

I especially learned about the chemotherapy process..and what

it entails. Even though I had an idea..I didn't know exactly how

it was administered.

The good thing..after about a year, Ann was happy, healthy and 

beautiful again.  Her hair DID grow back with a bit of curl. She

opted to have BOTH breasts removed, even though only one 

had the cancer..and she has NO reconstruction.  From watching

her story, I feel the only option to her was implants, which I 

would not do either.  She was courageous, had a loving supporting

family..and they all went to Boston to stay with her parents , so

there was help with the children.  

WELL!!! of course last night, I dreamed I was doing chemo

& I tell ya, tis what scares me most.  They were most AWFUL dreams. 

Why must the nights by so SCAREY??

 My husband thinks the 

surgery is when I'll need him most, but from Ann's story, the

chemo is what kicks your butt!  She had 8 of them.. 2 weeks apart

and just when she felt decent after each dose, it was time

for another.  Her hair was gone after the 2nd treatment.

She wore hats & a wig outside, but not at home.  

I am thankful she shared her story..for me and for everyone

who may be touched by this.  She said for a year, she felt 

her life was about her being a cancer patient..not a woman, mom, wife, daughter, sister or 

friend..   She DID find peace, health..and she said ..now she takes time

out to just go outside and look at what flowers bloom.  She breaks silly

rules and spends as much time as possible with her family.  She even left her

job as a Special Reporter for a Public TV station AFTER she got well.

Here's an interview with her..she was even cute BALD

I also realize HOW hard this will be on my family & friends..especially my

dear hubby, but I look forward to the OTHER side of this journey and

the health that awaits me.

God will see us through this and whatever the outcome..it will be His will

and I will be joyous.

fondly, Deena

My Christmas Tree ( with Mary Birds)

Here it is ..with birds from my sweet friend Mary &

a wonderful birdhouse from dear Jen,    Sorry the 

quality is so bad. The tree has lights, but I can't find

my extension cord!! LOL

I'll get it lit today. Can you see the sun on the tree tops in the woods?? LOVELY

See the Santa up on the wall in the back..??? Was a gift 

from Rachael last year. I love him!!!

Ebay & Target

Was in Target this morning trying to find this;

Eight piece baking set at a bargain price and PINK! I want those moulds not just for baking but making soaps and chocolates.


I also tried to find this half price Transformer for my collector brother and my son's best friend.
The word is TRIED. Like all Coles owned companies, Target is chronically under staffed. The only staff in the toy section was a teenage boy who was being monopolised by a surgically enhanced mum. Totally mesmerized by her plastic bosom, he was running all over Target fetching the stuff on her list.
Now I am thinking this woman might of been smarter than she looked. What a good way to get service. Note to self; wear push up bra and low cut top when I want service in under staffed shops (which have young males as employees.)
Anyway, I didn't get either of those things, both sold out straight away.


I bought this rose garland from Dusk and put it on top of the curtains in the living room. I liked it so much I thought I would sell one on ebay too. Click here to go to my auctions.


I just love the little Cath Kidston hand soaps and bath melts. They look fab in a glass jar in my bathroom. This is another item I have on ebay, the bath melts as pictured below.




Above is the cupboard door print I bought from Gail recently. At the front you can see the latest addition to my Josef Originals collection.
Here she is below!



And I just had to have this Christmas sign after seeing it on Mels blog. My kids have been whining, "Can't we just have a normal coloured Christmas tree?" And I said, of course you can. When you move out. What a mean mummy I am! Inflicting pink, lilac and white trees on the poor babies!